Random thoughts and travel

So today I woke up at 5am. Why might you ask that I am up that early on a Saturday? I have no idea. Today should be fun, but it is way too early. It is nice to be back in Cincinnati though. The sounds of Cincinnati are a relaxing familiarity that I have lost touch with while being in Boston. I think that I need to find places to rest my mind in Boston. The musical sounds of the world around me are not yet calming in Boston as they are in Cincinnati, but I am sure that will come in time.

I did not get to post yesterday or Thursday because of travel and being busy for the first few days back in Ohio. Being gone for long stints makes for lots to catch up on when you get back in town, go figure. But the airport orchestra was interesting to say the least. There were a lot of fun sites and sounds to keep my mind occupied. And then the pilot decided it would be fun to mess with the passengers by landing crazily and almost crashing. He probably did not do it on purpose because it was extremely windy. But it still scared some passengers. Pretty funny to watch actually, because to me it was fun. Felt like a rollercoaster.

I wonder what that says about me...

A New Song?

It is a wonder what putting your words on "paper" can do for you. Ranting about guitar yesterday got me to sit down after work and start and finish a new song for guitar and vocals. I have not done that in a while. Felt pretty good. I am not sure how much I like the song because it is kind of sad, but it is a song nonetheless. They can not all be great, but if you write more and more you will inevitably run into the really good ones because you have your mind running in the right direction.

Maybe that is all I really needed. To vocally say what I have been feeling about my work and about music in general to get me to thinkn more about it and actually take action to do something about it. I think this was a really good idea for me to start this blog. Funny how watching tv shows can influence things.

I watched all of season one of "Californication" over the weekend because my brother bought it on Saturday, crazy awesome show by the way. And the lead character at one point to get his novel writing back on track was pushed by his agent to take on a blog to write every day and get in the habit again cause he had not written a piece in something like ten years. The show went a different direction as to how he got his muse back, but it got me to thinking about that myself and if writing would help. Even though I write music, writing my thoughts out on paper so-to-speak has been cthardic and helpful.

Now if only that made everything else in life easier...

An Acoustic Memory

I grew up learning piano, percussion and singing. But for whatever reason the guitar continues to sing to me. I think an acoustic guitar is one of the most beautiful and enchanting instruments there is, at least with most of the kinds of music I prefer to listen to. Whenever anyone asks me about what instruments I play I always add that I am trying to teach myself guitar. That is true and not at the same time. I have taught myself enough chords while messing around to make some songs with the guitar and have a lot of fun jamming, but I really need to just take some lessons. I love the instrument so much that it is almost ridiculous that I have not taken the real time to learn it.

Funny how things work out though. I am now living in a big city where there are tons of places that I could learn guitar, but I also throw out the money excuse to hold me back. I tend to use that one a lot. I should have taken the time when I was in college with a lot of friends who know how to play the instrument and just asked them. Or hell, have taken a class on it at some point while I was in college studying MUSIC. But I was too caught up in my own world that the guitar fell by the wayside.

Maybe I should just buy one of those instructional videos. I saw one that tweaked my fancy at Barnes & Noble once by Esteban, but I never went for it. Again with the money. Either that or my ego telling me, "Hey you can learn guitar on your own. You can do without spending money on this. Spend your money on something with a quality level you can quantify. You would only be wasting your money if you bought this video that may not even help you." I think my ego is plotting against me at times, but that is a story for another day.

I think back to that day every once in a while and get mad at myself. Nothing should get in the way of your dreams and what you want to do with your life, least of all money. I should just buy it online, but I keep fighting myself on things and whether or not it would actually help me.

Maybe when my paycheck comes in this week...

New big city, same road blocks

So I was walking around the other day outside while having one of my many smoke breaks when it hit me. The music of the day was going on. Horns were blaring and the cold wind was blowing by at a brisk pace. Squirrels jumping from branch to branch and fighting for territory with each other. The warmth of the sun had an unusually odd feeling with the cold and chaos that was going on in spite of it shining away.

And in that moment I realized I now live states away from anyone I have really cared about in my life (besides my older brother who I now live with). This is the first time I have lived in a state other then Ohio. Although at the same time it feels like a homecoming. My mom was born in Boston and spent a lot of her youth in the suburbs of this big city. But while it feels much like a homecoming, I do not feel at home.

For a person that tends not to be very outgoing, a new city is a very daunting task to face, especially when you no longer have the luxury of college to put you around thousands of new people your age every day.

I guess I should be excited about the possiblities that lie before me, and the time I now have to work on my music and finally start working towards my dreams. But what really kept me from doing that before? The truth to that question is myself. And being in a bigger city with nothing but time to work on music does not fix the problem of myself holding me back from doing that.

More frustrating I think is that there is no real piano anywhere that I can get to. My electronic keyboard just does not do me any favors and I miss the feel and sound of a real piano. I think that should be my first priority with money, but with the added big city living expenses goes my extra spending cash each month. It gets pretty frustrating just trying to stay afloat when what you really want to do, what you really know you can do, is soar into the stratusphere and take the world by storm.

I wonder where my muse went...